Saturday, December 31, 2011

Should I Be Jealous?

Please be aware that the blog-post you are about to read may not be appropriate for all political leanings. 

This is Mitt Romney and my husband really likes him.

No, not strong enough.  It doesn't really convey the depths of devotion.  Let me try again.

Abe's most prized possession is his signed copy of Mitt's book, No Apology.  I recently suggested we give it away as a white elephant gift.  I'll never forget the hurt look of betrayal in his eyes.

Abe was almost overcome with joy when he realized how close he is to almost being related to Mitt.  My sister-in-law's cousin is married to Mitt's son.  Abe's reaction, "I'm pretty much Mitt's other son!"

Abe is the president of the Mitt Romney fan club and he's got the membership card to prove it.  This card came in the mail today as a result of his $5 donation to the campaign.

Several of Abe's brothers call him numerous times a week seeking understanding and comfort.  They have heard "this" or "that" in the media and are concerned that Mitt won't win the nomination.  Abe talks them down from the cliff and assures them that Mitt has it in the bag.

I have recently become aware of a secret life Abe has as a regular commentator/contributor on a political blog that follows the Republican race for the nomination.  He assured me he only checks it three or four times a day, so it's alright.  

At several holiday gatherings this season the conversation has been dominated by the latest polling results in Iowa.  How festive.

Much like a devoted sports fan, Abe need not actually play the game of actual politics with real issues.  It is great fun to analyze and dissect the players and discuss every move they make.  He looks forward to the daily polls like the fan looks forward to the latest team rankings.  
Abe has a man-crush on Mitt.  And who can blame him?  Mitt is very good looking and polished.  Abe is considering growing out his hair and getting grey highlights.  This bro-mance is the real thing.

I, too, thought I would like Mitt Romney to win the nomination, but I am reconsidering my position.  I think it might be healthiest for everyone involved if Mitt breaks it off with Abe.  And the sooner the better.