Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Never-Ending Post

Well, that is just a bummer.
Abe was driving home from working late last Saturday evening and got into an accident on I-15.  Fortunately, no one was injured and he was able to drive his car home, but it is most likely totaled.  It was not Abe's fault and we're fairly certain the other driver's insurance will cover the costs, but they are certainly not moving very quickly to get it resolved.  Boo, Allstate!  Sorry, if you have Allstate.
It's a hassle just before the holidays.  We are super grateful that my dad is letting us borrow one of their cars while we get things resolved.  Abe must be an optimist-- smiling by his bashed up car.

I am putting off my Christmas shopping.  Mostly because I'd like to get our car situated so I know a little more clearly what I have to work with ($$), but also because I want to enjoy the holidays.  So here's my plan:  Rather than getting it done little bits at a time, and then continue to stress and worry, I am going to wait until much closer to Christmas.  Then, two weeks before Christmas I will get it all done in one fell swoop; on-line.  
I realize this is probably not a very good plan either.   I'm not sure there is a good way that will alleviate my stress.  Why can't we all just eat cookies, sing Christmas carols and be with family?  Why must we do presents at all?
Okay, new topic.

Let me tell you a little more about my adventures in the early morning.  Getting up at 4:45 AM is really not such a big deal if you go to bed at 8:30 PM.  If Clark or I are up past 9:00 we start to get really antsy.  Clark says he's developing a fear of alarm clocks.  I am so happy to have recruited a friend to go to the 5:30 classes with me.  That does make it much more enjoyable.  I tell Abe, who is a little put out that I'm going to bed so early and getting up so early, that if he wants to spend time with me he is welcome to join me at the gym as well!  I guess he's not that interested in spending time with me afterall.

I did something recently that I really regret.
I am a consumer of Facebook.  I don't post a whole lot on there, but I do regularly check it to see what is going on with my nearest and dearest.  For the record, I think people should be MUCH more discerning in what they post.  If complaints must be posted, they should be very few and far between.  Uplifting articles or stories are always appropriate.  Family news such as births, deaths, marriages, family reunion information-- YES.   Reminders of upcoming activities-- YES.  Birthday wishes-- YES.  I am not a big fan of political rants and articles, but I am not offended by them.  To each his own.
As a rule for myself, I stay away from political or decisive posts.  But I recently broke that rule.  I posted an article about homeschooling that I really liked.  I thought my homeschooling friends would appreciate it and I hoped that my non-homeschooling friends (I have them and I love them) would better understand my decision.
But I didn't really think it through all the way.  And a good friend whom I really respect didn't take it the way I hoped.  That's the person I know of who didn't appreciate it.  I fear there are others and I feel badly about it.  I feel very happy with my choices, but alienating others who feel differently isn't going to do much good for anybody.
Am I being too sensitive?  Part of me hopes I am, since I usually fear I am not being sensitive enough.  But still.  I'm sorry I did it and I will re-adopt my policy of not using Facebook to say or do things I would never say or do to someone's face.

WARNING:  The next paragraph is the ramblings of my stressed mind.  This is my therapy.  
I am anxiously engaged in a good work with my family.  The hours of the day pass so very quickly.  There is more work to do than we possibly have time for and I think that's a good thing.  It's much better than the alternative-- not having enough to do.  I recently read a book-- 20 Wishes.  It was sweet.  I don't highly recommend it, but it was sweet. It about a group of various aged widows who look outside of themselves to overcome their grief.  They are searching for things to do to fill their time and fulfill them.  I am not being critical of their situation, but it was hard for me to relate.  How would it be, how will it be, to have to really think deeply about about how to spend my time?
As it is, I'm feeling sad that my sister is about to have a baby and I've done very little help her.  I haven't spoken to my dear friend in Virginia in months and I miss her.  I'm not blogging as much as I'd like-- and that is very healthy for me.  My wonderful friend from when my older kids were babies lives 35 minutes away and I haven't made time to go see her.  
How shall I remedy these things?  How do I make time for even more wonderful things? This is partly why I am sort of against hard and fast goal setting.  Because as soon as I really focus on one area of life to achieve a goal, I feel like other areas are neglected.
I suppose balance is the solution.  But here's the problem with balance.  It's boring.  It's much more fun to focus and send my energy into a particular area where I can see results .  To master something, to achieve something is more thrilling than just making sure none of the balls I'm juggling fall to the ground.
I think I need to go through some sort of gratitude exercise to clear my mind and get myself thinking correctly.  My brain feels rather muddled right now.

Okay, here goes.
100 Things I'm grateful for
1. The Gospel of Jesus Christ.
2. Abe
3.  my children-- Clark, Bethany, Elinor, Tessa, Faith, Cannon, George
4.  my home
5.  good books
6.  mentors for my children
7. homeschooling
8. teaching piano lessons
9. my calling as ward missionary
10. date nights
11.  exercise friends
12.  swim team
13.  functioning washer and dryer
14.  Abe wasn't injured in his car accident
15.  my children's friends
16.  my friends
17.  furnace
18.  warm showers
19.  gummy bears
20.  chocolate (in all its glorious forms)
21.  game nights
22.  going to bed at night
23.  grandparents
24.  my parents
25.  comfortable shoes
26.  the library
27.  ward choir
28.  Netflix
29.  Bethany's violin
30.  listening to my children practice piano
31.  annual book club retreat
32.  graduating from BYU
33.  our trampoline
34  my siblings
35.  electricity
36.  the internet
37.  My Tech High
38.  safe community
39.  sister-in-laws
40.  early morning walks
41.  Abe's work
42.  good health
43.  cell phones
44.  D&D-- as geeky as it is
45.  grocery stores
46.  Christmas carols
47.   good roads to travel on
48.  my blog
49.  make-up
50.  book clubs
51.  aunts and uncles
52.  LDS seminary
53.  cars to drive
54.  toilet paper
55.  air freshners
56.  functioning vacuum cleaner
57.  flushing toilets
58.  hair dryer
59. food to eat
60.  hats and gloves
61.  visiting teachers
62.  Legos
63.  educational cartoons
64.  toothpaste
65.  children's laughter
66.  quiet time
67.  missionaries
68.  learning new things
69.  second chances
70.  computers
71.  Teen Beach Movie-- what?  I like the music!
72.  kindness
73.  Facebook
74.  carpooling
75.  holidays
76.  temples
77.  scriptures
78.  crunchy leaves
79.  clothing
80.  functioning lawn mower
81.  new window blinds
82.  opportunities to work hard
83.  work-out classes
84.  TV shows and movies
85.  grateful children
86.  parks
87.  being raised in the military
88.  digital cameras
89.  doctors
90.  refrigerators
91.  The United States of America
92.  my couches
93.  my microwave
94.  sunsets
95.  sunrises
96.  agency
97.  my wedding ring
98.  wonderful neighbors
99.  hand-me-downs
100.  pumpkin pie-- tomorrow is Thanksgiving!

By the way, I don't highly recommend Twenty Wishes.  Not bad, just not great.   But I did just finish Crossing to Safety and I LOVED it and highly recommend it.


Andrea said...

So happy to read your new post! I wish we were spending Thanksgiving with you! We need to do some Christmas prep activities soon! And discuss Crossing to Safety!

christini yogini said...

So glad Abe is ok! Love you & your family, & staying in the loop via your blog. Wishing you a fantastic Thanksgiving

Emily Sanders said...

Don't save your internet shopping too long or you'll be crazy with the stress that the packages won't arrive in time for the big day. This has happened to me and I've had gifts arrive on the 24th. That one child would always think she was the least favored if she got her gifts on, say, December 28th.

Otherwise, I get this post. Someday, surely, we'll look at our still hands and think, "Now, what were all those things I always wanted to do?"

Bonita said...

<3 your gratitude is so inspiring to me.