These Pants

I've been thinking about sharing these pants with you for a long time.  I kind of hate these pants.  But I mostly love them.  In fact, I have two pair of identical black stretchy pants.  I do not exaggerate when I tell you I have had them for 13 1/2 years.  I think I bought them at Target.  They are maternity pants.  The perfect maternity pants.  They are NOT stylish.  I don't like the material they are made of.  I cannot tolerate them in the summer because they don't breath at all.  But they fit.  Whether I be a few pounds lighter or a few pounds heavier,  it doesn't matter.  These black stretchy pants don't judge.  They love me anyway.  They don't wear out.  I can wear them before the baby and afterwards.  They are what you'd call a staple of my wardrobe when I'm expecting. 
AND... I am indeed expecting again.   I am about 14 weeks and I wear one of these two pairs of black stretchy pants everyday.  In the same way that Abe and I NEVER speak ill of our 2002 white Chrysler Town and Country mini-van, lest it retaliate and break down on us.  I will not speak ill of these most loyal and forgiving pants, lest they get a hole or tragically grow too small for me. 
If you see me wearing these pants anytime in the next 12 months-- as you surely will if you see me at all in that time-- feel free to ask me about my miracle black stretchy pants.  They would enjoy the attention and it will give me a chance to publicly thank them for their service.