What I Wish I'd Known Seven Years Ago

Before Clark left on his mission, and for several months after he left, I was grieving.  I was glad he went, but I felt so sad at what felt like the loss of family life as I knew it.  We had about a year and a half after Greta was born and before Clark left.  In my mind, it was pretty much the beginning of the end of our family-- this thing Abe and I had worked so hard to create.  It is not exaggerating to say, I cried every day for four months.  Was I being just a wee bit melodramatic?  I suppose that goes without saying. 

In hindsight, I don't think I was mentally well, and I really could have benefitted from some regular therapy.  Perhaps that is a discussion for another post.

But the point of me recounting this sob story is that my concerns turned out to be unfounded.  I wish I could have seen seven years into the future and caught a glimpse of a night like the one in the following picture.

Abe and I and our five oldest children (ages 16-25) and the dates of their choice, went downtown for a night of vintage dancing, at sunset, on a large, outdoor, rooftop patio, on a Victorian mansion. WHAT EVEN IN THE...???

From left to right:  Cannon and Campbell (a friend from ballet) on Cannon's first-ever date.  Aww... how cute.  Their dancing skills pretty much put the rest of us to shame.

Elinor and her person, Hunter.  He's a super nice guy that we quite like, and turned out to be quite a good dancer as well.

Abe and yours truly-- soaking up every moment

Faith and her good friend Dylan (they were swim team captains together, and now just regular life besties).  Before the evening, I would have voted Dylan "Least Likely to Enjoy the Evening"-- but he was a super good sport, and however uncomfortable he might have started, I dare say, he was surprised by how much fun he had.  We adore Dylan.

Ben and Bethany-- you know them and love them.  They are so much fun to be with

Clark and his person, Brianna.  She is delightful and it was wonderful to get to meet her just before we went dancing.  

The four of us went out to eat at Spitz in Draper.  

Our instructor was the brilliant Andrea, hosting at her Plumfield house.

It's just really fun-- I know it sounds and maybe looks like it would be awkward-- but somehow it is just so fun.  If you are unconvinced, you must come with us next time!  Don't knock it till you try it.

Nice photo-bomb, Faith

It's tough not to smile when you get into it.  It's fun to look around and just see everyone smiling.

So as it turns out, our family was not falling apart or disintegrating when kids started to grow up and leave the nest.  Rather, it was changing.  I've had some very important (and very challenging and painful) lessons to learn over the past seven years (and am still learning) about agency and love and humility and trusting God.  

This current stage of our family life is SO MUCH BETTER and so much more fun than I ever imagined it would be.  These young adults are hilarious and it is my favorite thing to see them enjoy each other so much.  

It's a lesson to me to not panic in my emotions.  My feelings do not always represent the possible wonderful realities of what is coming.  For a long time, I've had the thought that with God, things only get bigger and better.  He is the ultimate GIVER and never a taker. I can't always see that.  Sometimes, from my very limited perspective, it appears something I want/love is shrinking-- that there is loss-- a taking away.  

But I trust in God's goodness and I believe that with God, we need only patiently press forward as we await the bounty of the promises to those who love Him.  He is not a God of loss, He is a God of growth and expansion.  

So, seven years ago, I wish I'd known how many happy, joyful, fulfilling moments were still to come.  Btw--Faith took some razzing for her safari girl outfit:) but I think it worked for her.

I suppose there is no limit on how many perfect evenings you get to enjoy in life.  But if there was a quota and you got to choose how to spend your budget for perfect evenings-- I would most definitely pick this night to be one of them.