We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Program...

Hello friends,

I am going to interrupt my regularly scheduled family blogging content to bring you a political rant.  Well, not so much a rant, as a declaration.  Or maybe a confession, clarification, or an admission. Basically, in the recent events with Charlie Kirk's assassination, I've thought a lot about what I believe and how I lean politically.  I've also thought about whether sharing my thoughts would do more damage than good.  There is a lot of division and ill feeling between the political parties with their differing ideologies.  It is not my intention to deepen that divide.  First and foremost, I want to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, and I try to follow him.  

 I come from a long line of really good men and women who have dedicated their lives to God, family, and country.  It's a beautiful legacy of military service, holding public office, first responders, nurses, law enforcement.  I am so proud that these are my people.  Growing up in the Army, I've always felt extremely proud to be an American.  Like clockwork, the tears stream down my face while singing the third verse of "The Star-Spangled Banner".  

I minored in political science at BYU back in the day, so I'd hope I'm not a complete dunce as to how our system of government works.  While I think I have maintained a healthy and functional respect for authority and government, I cherish my autonomy.  I like to think, and hope,  I'll always willingly choose the good and wise over the evil and foolish, but my soul needs to be the one to decide.   

I've homeschooled all eight of our children.  We have heavily leaned into the arts--literature, music, dance.  We've tried to pursue that which is "honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy" (13th Article of Faith).  My plan/goal/intention was to surround my children with so much goodness and beauty and light, that those things would feel like home-- where their soul belonged.  I wanted them to feel uncomfortable and like a stranger when they encountered the uglies and the dark things of the world.   If that sounds too idealistic, it's because it is.  But even so, we acclimate to our surroundings and I wanted them to love that which was worthy of love.

In many ways we've succeeded.  In many ways, we've missed the mark.  I feel both proud and ashamed of my efforts.  Satisfied with where those efforts have taken us and at the same time, longing we were in a better  place.  Abe and I are at the phase of life when half of the kids are "launched" or "about to "launch".  They are marrying and starting families.  They are pursuing education and working hard to be contributing members of society.  They still like us and come around and that feels like a big win. 

But I digress. 

 My point is, as a family, we avoided a lot of political discussions.   Politics deal with many of the ugly parts of life-- death, crime, injustice, punishment, homelessness, poverty, war, and suffering.  And those things went against my desires to focus on that which was "lovely and of good report".   Consequently,  I'm afraid we haven't done an adequate job of teaching our children correct principles of government.  And perhaps we have grown too lackadaisicle in our political involvement.

My dad has always been extremely conservative and active in local politics.  He'd be the first to say he hasn't made a lot of friends in those circles.  My dad was definitely my greatest influencer of ideas in my childhood and youth.  However, as an adult, I found that while I agreed with most of his views, I disagreed with much of his approach and tactics to persuade others to his side--  diplomacy not being his strong suit.  (Sorry, Dad) 

 Conservative talk radio shows like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, even Dr. Laura-- it all felt so mean-spirited.  I mean, I pretty much agreed with them, but did they have to be so nasty? They presented their ideas very much as us versus them.  We are good and smart and they are bad and stupid.  So much mockery. So much contention.  I didn't like it.  So I avoided it.  

However, the events of the last few weeks has forced the topic of political opinions into the limelight.  This is what I currently believe:

--- I DON'T like Trump.  I didn't like him the first time around and I don't like him the second time around.  The difference being, I did vote for him the second time around.  As a human being, I find him to be inflammatory, petulant, divisive, offensive, spoiled, a womanizer, immature, unkind, and just kind of an all-around jerk.  Never say never, but I would never wear a MAGA hat.  I wouldn't want people to think that I think the things Trump says are okay.  I don't think they are okay.  I mean, talk about no diplomacy!  Did he do some shady or downright illegal things?  Uh... yeah.  I'm sure he did.  I've heard that if you really know him, he's actually a caring, nice guy.  I find that extremely hard to believe.  I don't want to be friends with him.

---I DO want America to be great again.  As a country we have gone off track.  The principles and values America was founded on are being foolishly and mistakenly brushed aside in favor of policies and systems that have REPEATEDLY FAILED to provide that which they they purport.  And therein lies my difficulty.  I do agree with the policies of the Trump administration, but I don't like Trump and am embarrassed by him.    Here are some policies I agree with---

• I support building a wall. Building a wall around your country or city is not a new idea.  You protect that which is valuable to you.
•  At the risk of sounding outrageously heartless , I support deporting illegal immigrants, starting with those with criminal backgrounds.  It is especially sad if there are children involved, and I can't imagine the anguish for those involved, but we must enforce our laws, lest our laws become meaningless and anarchy becomes the law.
• There are two genders/sexes--whatever you want to call it.  Men and women are born with  male or female bodies.  Their spirits are male or female.  I believe that their bodies and spirits match.  Is it possible that there could be a mix up?  That somehow, some biological mutation occurs and a male is mistakenly given a female body?  I don't know.  Or that some one is born with both male and female body parts?  That can happen.  So I don't know.   I do know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints teaches, ..."Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose".  Is it possible for a women to experience being a man?  Nope.  Are they free to pretend they are something other than what they are?  Yep.  Do I have to buy into their delusion?   Will I still show respect and civility and treat them as a fellow child of God?  Yep.  I do NOT support violence or harassment.  I believe gender dysphoria is a mental illness and they are more deserving of pity than derision.  
• I want Americans to have good jobs that pay enough to support the modest lifestyles of American families.  
• I  think public schools and universities are the NOT the best educational options for everyone.  Some, but not everyone.  I think we should have them.  But we should encourage and support other routes as well.   
• I think we should have a KILLER armed forces (no pun intended--sort of).  The best defense is a strong offense.  We should NOT go around picking fights with other countries.  But when American interests are at stake, I want other countries to know that, while we don't want to fight, we absolutely will if necessary.  And not only will we fight, we WILL win.  So don't even bother messing with us or our allies.
• I completely support calling up the National Guard into cities where the current city administrations are not protecting their citizens.  Once again, enforce the laws.  The laws are there to protect all citizens and if the city leaders are not able to do their jobs, then our a higher authority needs to step in.
• I agree that mainstream media is unbelievably biased against "the Right" and they irresponsibly favor "the Left".  On that same note, I don't like Fox News either.  Cancel culture is a dangerous game to play, but if we're going to play it, both sides must place by the same rules.  Those who are using violence or actively inciting violence with untruths are not serving the good of the public and ought to be stopped
• I am in favor of young people getting married and starting families.  Boy, that's a loaded statement in todays day and age!  I can hear all the arguments against it. I shan't go into that discussion here and now, but in the words of my dear friend, Camille, "The recipe for a happy life is three things--- 1.  Get married    2.  Have kids    3. Take them to church
• While there is fault to be found on both sides of the political aisle, the "far left" seems to be markedly more violent and intolerant than "the right".  I support dismantling groups that use terroristic tactics and on fellow citizens.  Someone saying something you disagree with does not harm you and is not a reason to kill them.  Take it to the voting booth!  And in the meantime, USE YOUR WORDS to try to persuade others who feel differently than you.   
• Lastly, (and this is not from Trump, but rather yours truly) There are three groups of people we do not negotiate with:  1) Two-year olds,  2) Terrorists, and 3) crazy people.   If you don't fit into those three categories then we can talk.

I realize this is not an exhaustive list of policies the Trump Administration is working towards.  I also realize I am not as fully informed as I could be.  Others feel differently and likely have things to teach me about these issues.  

There will be to be disagreements in any group of people.  People see things differently because they have different life experiences, different exposures, different temperaments, different family and ethnic cultures.

In our house, we have two words we say when a discussion is turning from friendly to fiery.  When the heels dig in, the voices rise,  and violence threatens to erupt.  We say, "DIFFERENT OPINIONS."  It means, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong.  You disagree.  You have different opinions on what is true.  You don't have to change the other's mind. They can think what they want and you can think what you want.  Let it go.  Let them be.  Move on.  Different opinions. 

You may read this post and strongly disagree on many points.  I probably disagree with you on many points.  But I don't think you are stupid.  I'm pretty sure you have valid reasons for thinking and feeling how you do.  We can discuss, but I don't want to get mad.  I don't want to think ill of you.  You are free to think and feel on any topic anyway you want.  And so am I.  I absolutely CAN be friends with you if you feel differently about Trump or his policies.  We don't have agree.  DIFFERENT OPINIONS.

And I bet we have a lot of things in common. Let's talk about those.

I'm going to share a very personal story.  About four years ago, our son told us he was leaving the faith tradition of our family.  While he felt it had been a good and happy way to be raised, he didn't believe anymore.  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, this was devastating.  We believe in eternal families that are sealed together here on earth and can be together with God in the eternities.  It was a BIG DEAL to Abe and me.  Big for what it meant for eternity, but also big for what it meant here in this life.  We have been devout members of the church our whole lives.  The rhythms and routines of our family were so intertwined with church activity and milestones,  that I feared we would lose this beloved son entirely.  We wouldn't give up what we loved and believed, and he was going a live a life in which he purposefully disregarded those things.  What would our relationship look like?  What would we talk about?  What did we have to share if not this lifelong faith tradition?

During our initial discussion, we both agreed that we would respect one another's beliefs.  We would not hound him or nag him.  We wouldn't criticize him and constantly remind him of what he "should" be doing.  We wouldn't fill his inbox with links to talks we thought might "soften his heart".  And he agreed that he would not try to sabotage our effort to raise his siblings in the faith.  

And now, one of the happiest things in my life is that this son calls me up on his lunch break sometimes just to check in and see how I'm doing.  He shares what's happening in his life.  We regularly have a dinner date-- just the two of us so we can share the MANY things we still have in common.  He loves to hike and shares his goals and progress. He has a cool new job at a University that I love to hear about.  He will happily step in and help pick up younger siblings if we are in a driving pinch.  He led our family in a D&D adventure at our family camp this summer.  He brings his girlfriend over and we love her.  He will even come to church to support family members for special events.  I have a tremendous amount of respect for him.  He is brilliant and driven.  He is considerate and dependable.  I love him and enjoy his company so much.  I can't believe that I gave birth to such an remarkable human being.  I am so proud of him.  

For the record, as far as this son's eternal soul-- that's not for me to figure out.  I believe God is good and that through his Son, Jesus Christ, we will all be blessed in the eternities far better than any of us deserve.  Eternity is a long time and I trust that all things will work together for good.  And that's all I have to say about that.   Well, one more thing I have to say about that.  A poem by non other than J.R.R. Tolkien, himself.

All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.