I went to bed in a foul mood last night. No particular reason other than I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and I don't feel well. I'm convinced I'm going to give birth to a 14 pounder. I get pretty anxious at this point of every pregnancy because of our experience with Tessa. It's hot. Abe's been gone a lot lately. Blah. Blah. Blah. I knew today was my birthday and I had no fun plans.
My plans were to watch some Wimbledon in the morning and then women's gymnastic Olympic trials in the evening. The rest of the day I had reserved for a big ol' pity party for myself. I was going to spend a lot of energy feeling very sorry for myself.
I don't go there very often, but I fully planned to wallow in my physical and emotional discomfort today.
Fortunately, my day did not go as planned.
I took Elinor to her piano lesson and then dropped Bethany and Clark off at summer seminary. They didn't have to go, but they wanted to. They are good kids.
As I waited to pick them up, my dear sister-in-law called and invited me out for a birthday lunch. I almost cried. We had great conversation and she really pulled me out of my funk. As Bethany said the other day, "I really like Aunt Lori. I feel like she understands me!"
I think a lot of people feel that way about Lori and I appreciated talking with her.
I came home and taught a couple of piano lessons. Then I drove Bethany and Elinor to the temple to do baptisms. This was a happy thing for me. By this point, I was done with my pity party and feeling like the day had been salvaged.
Then came the miracle. Sometimes what seems miraculous to one, is just coincidence to another. I must record this tonight, because for me, this was a miracle I want to remember. I want to remember it when I feel like nobody cares. I want to remember when I miss my mom. I want to remember when I am feeling alone.
Just after I dropped off the girls at the temple, I got a phone call from a lady in our church congregation. She asked if my girls were home. I explained the girls were at the temple and Faith was playing at a friend's house.
She explained that she just felt the urge to "dress someone". Meaning she wanted to take someone shopping and outfit them. Having never received such an offer before, I wasn't quite sure what she meant. She is a talented seamstress, so perhaps she wanted to pick out fabric to sew a skirt? Whatever she meant, she is very trustworthy, so I called Faith home from her friend's house and dropped her off at this lady's house to head out shopping.
An hour and half later they returned with Faith glowing with delight at her newly acquired super cute dresses. Then it was time to go pick up the older girls. This generous woman said to send the older girls over one at a time so she could take them each shopping. She completely spoiled each of them. I have no vision for picking out cute clothes-- especially clearance and on sale items. But she does and then she can make alterations and put things together I wouldn't see.
This by itself is such a kind and generous thing that she did, but that alone isn't what I find miraculous. You must understand that more than anyone else I've ever met, this woman has the spirit of my mother about her. There is a physical resemblance to my mom and my Grandma Clark, but there is a wittiness, a wicked funny humor. She is so talented with crafts and sewing. People are drawn to her in the same way. She teaches lessons at church the way my mom would have. I have felt this connection to her since I first met her and I love to be around her.
So, here I am, having a hard time with the end of pregnancy, feeling so run down and out of energy. Ready to just write off my birthday this year, in a paranoid way thinking nobody cared. And out of nowhere comes the one woman on earth who most reminds me of my mom and says, "Let me take your girls out shopping."
Keeping in mind that my mom loved to shop and loved to give gifts-- it was her way of showing love. I feel quite certain that when this good woman "just felt an urge to dress someone" it was my mom whispering in her ear, "I can't be there to do this for my daughter, but she is struggling. Will you please go take care of her and her girls?"
In the grand scheme of things, I don't think it matters that much whether the girls have new dresses and clothes. They love it and I would rather have them dressed nicely, than sloppily. But the miracle is that my needs are known and I am loved and cared for by a kind and merciful Heavenly Father and an earthly mother who continues to watch over me and bless me and my children. I am so thankful and feel undeserving of such kindness and mercy.