Signs of the Times

I grew up in a family of four children.  Not humongous by some standards, but my dad was in the Army so we were moving every three years (on average).    I think having to move so often and cramming in to smallish military quarters would make a family of 6 feel very large.

I know (and enjoyed) the dynamics of a family of four children.  There are the older kids and the younger kids, but your family moves somewhat cohesively from one stage to another.  All the kids are young together.  There a a few years when the older kids are in school and the younger are still babies and toddlers and still home.  But the majority of the time all the kids are in school together.  By the the time the older kids can really appreciate movies/plays/dinner out, the younger ones are old enough to behave somewhat humanly in public.  By the time the older kids are headed to college and getting married and having babies of their own, the parents have had a long break from the rigors of little children and are finishing off their child rearing years. 

I haven't seen first hand how a larger family operates, I am feeling very much in uncharted waters. I have six children and am hopefully not done yet (I hear those gasps of shock).  Clark will be 12 next year, and as a young man and deacon, he will enter a new phase of life.  More outside activities, more intense school work, and more grown-up responsibilities.  Bethany will be 10.  She's become quite the little lady with her dance and music and her endless helping and nurturing of her little sibilings. 

Meanwhile, the babies keep coming.  And we love them and are grateful for them.  But later babies are still babies and are as much work as first or second babies.  They still cry, they still poop, they still love to be held and snuggled.  The workload keeps increasing.  The benefit is that we get so much stronger and patient, and more like who we want to become.  It is hard, but it's the whole point of life.

Fortunately, I enjoy the later babies even more than I did the earlier babies.  I am more relaxed with them and know just how quickly this baby time passes.  I treasure the times I can just sit and hold them and kiss them over and over again. 

The trick becomes meeting the needs of older people and younger people simultaneously.  Not focusing so much on one group to the exclusion of the other.  Some might argue that it isn't fair to the older kids to be held back in anyway due to the needs of the younger children.  YIKES!  Are you serious?  What kind of monsters do you think I am trying raise?  I think it would be beastly for older children to think that no one's needs but their own are important. 

I absolutely believe it can be done-- raising a larger family and still have spirits nurtured, talents developed, relationships strengthened, education forged, friendships built, communities enriched, and gospel lived.  It's just that this is new to me.

I have children in such different phases and I'm finding it necessary to super-prioritize, to make sure the most important things get done for each person.  There isn't time or energy for everything so during these critical years, we've got to take care of the needful things first. 

Perhaps the title of the post was misleading.  My original idea of this post was to make note of a few signs that my older children are indeed getting older and not little kids anymore.  Rather they are well on their way to becoming what I hope they will become. 

Little things.  Like when Clark and Bethany were looking through a National Geographic magazine and had their first encounter with real human cruelty.  The sadness in Bethany's eyes when she saw how horrible people can be to each other.

Like when Clark and Bethany were talking to one another as friends-- not just as siblings forced to live together and endure one another's presence for the first 18 years of their life.  Asking each other their opinions of people and things and events.

For so many years these older kids have felt like mere appendages of Abe and me.  Who'd have thought that they would grow up so quickly and become their own persons!  I'm so intrigued with each one of them.  I love discovering how they think and what motivates them.  I am quite enjoying them and look forward to watching them become adults.