Abe loves cold cereal.
I mean, I like cold cereal. I regularly eat it for breakfast and occasionally for a late night snack. But Abe LOVES cold cereal.
1997
We were first married and I was giving myself a crash course in cooking. I slaved in the kitchen trying to duplicate the recipes my mother made with such ease. She had made me a detailed cookbook, but I didn't have much experience and it was quite an effort for me. While I was struggling in our little yellow countered kitchen, Abe would waltz in and pour himself a bowl of cereal.
Me: WHAT??? What are you doing??? I'm making dinner!!
Abe: I'm just getting a snack.
Me: Yes, but I'm making dinner, and with great effort, I might add.
Abe: Thank you for making it. I'll eat it.
Me: But you won't really be hungry.
Another day in 1997
I am still trying to learn to cook, but I'm getting better.
Me: How did you like dinner tonight?
Abe: It was really good. Thank you, Sweetheart.
Abe clears his plate and proceeds to get out a bowl, spoon, cereal, and milk.
Me: What are you doing? We just had dinner.
Abe: I'm just topping it off.
Me: If you're still hungry, you could have some more dinner. That I just made for you.
Side note: In hindsight--The man should be able to eat whatever he wants, but I was a new bride and very sensitive.
The Fox House Anytime Between 2000 and 2011
Me: I'm sorry, Honey. I had a lot going on today and I haven't gotten dinner going.
Abe: Well, let me make dinner.
Me: Really?
Abe: Yeah! Let's just have cold cereal?
Me: I thought you were going to make dinner.
Abe: That is dinner.
May 2011
Me: I haven't had a chance to get to dinner yet.
Abe: I'll make dinner tonight.
Me: Wow-- thank you. Will you make sure the little ones get fed, too?
Abe: Of course. We'll have chili.(canned chili)
Me: That's fine, but please remember that half of the children will not eat canned chili-- and I completely support their decision. I won't eat it myself. And just for the record, opening cans of chili does not count as making dinner.
June 2011
Me: I'm going to make some eggs for dinner
Abe: How about if I make omelets.
Me: Oh, I love omelets. Thank you.
He begins making omelets. I cleared it with Abe and I called my sister-in-law Lori because it's been a long time since we got together and my other plans for the evening fell through. Lori and I decided to go get some dinner together.
Abe: If you're going out then why am I making omelets?
Me: Well, there are six other people here that need to eat. You are making dinner for them.
Abe: Well, then, we're having cold cereal!
Abe and I make a great pair, but we have very different expectations when it comes to the family dinner table. To my memory, my mother made nice homemade family meals almost every single night of my childhood. The norm was a sit down home cooked meal. Abe's mother is a remarkable woman who loved and nurtured her children. And there were sit down meals with all nine children, but according to Abe, there were a lot of cans opened at dinner time, and the children could often help themselves to what they wanted for food.
In the tradition of my mother, I have really tried to have nice dinners very regularly. Abe likes it, but I think he'd be just as happy (if not happier because he wouldn't have to wait) for a quick bowl of cereal. It's hard to stay motivated to cook in the face of that. Do any of my sister-in-laws feel my pain? Am I alone in this? I know I should be glad my husband doesn't have unreasonable expectations of his wife, and I am, but it's just hard for me to understand. Abe insists I am "gourmet" and I don't need to go all out on every meal.
For the record, I don't go all out on every meal and I am NOT gourmet. I do use my can opener regularly.
But in the words of Abe this very evening: "This whole making dinner thing can be taken too far!"
8 comments:
In my defense, I very clearly told Bets while we were engaged, that I could eat cold cereal for breakfast, lunch & dinner and truly be happy......perhaps she just thought I was exaggerating. Well, I wasn't.
LOL, both of you! Russell likes his cold cereal, but I think he likes *food* in general. He's the one who insists upon cooked breakfast several times a week, and I think he'd go nuts if we had cold cereal every night. So, no, the Fox genes missed him.
This is funny Betsy! Jesse has his stand-by dinners too. Cereal, salsa and chips, chili and frozen pizza top the list. When we were first married he preferred "his" food, but now that he's getting older, he likes it when I cook, but half the time, he's getting something else to eat 20 minutes later, which is how I know he really didn't like what I made. :)
Oh Betsy! I could have written this post. My biggest failure as a wife (in Baden's eyes) is that I don't feed him Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast, Nalley's Chili for lunch, and Spaghetti for dinner EVERY SINGLE DAY. Wouldn't he get sick of the same thing every day you ask? The answer is NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. He gets very squimish when I try something new- even though, most of the time he ends up liking it. In his opinion why try something new, and risk not liking it, when you can just eat something you know you like? And yes, Baden has said that exact same thing as Abe: "Do you really have to make dinner every night?" HOwever, my mother, reminds me how much she would LOVE a husband who would come home and pour himself a bowl of cereal. So I guess the grass is always greener!
Ok, so being married to your brother I have a different take on the whole dinner thing. In Matt's defense he has never pressured me about making dinner or complained about what I have made but I get a lot of comments like "Why don't you ever make cassaroles? My mom made the best cassaroles." or "Don't you think we should have a couple of appetizers before dinner? Everytime we had people over my mom always had a whole counter full of appetizers." How does one even come close to living up to your mother??
As far as the cold cereal thing, I am with Abe. I LOVE cold cereal and I could eat it for every meal. It is both nutritious and delicious!
I can relate to your this post & to your pain!!! My hubby will come home & before he even sees what I have SLAVED IN THE KITCHEN to make.....he will grab a BAG OF CHIPS & start chowing-down! I always call him on it & say that I have spent a long time making dinner & he always says...."This is just an appetizer....I will still eat dinner!!!" Very Frustrating! LOL So I'm so there with ya!!!! :))))
Well, being brought up in the Fox house hold I too understand the idea of eating whatever you want whenever you want. I dread the hours of 3pm-6pm everyday because I think to myself, 'I need to figure out dinner'. Yes, a menu would be good but has it ever worked for me NO. My husband is a far better cook than I and he knows it. I secretly love the days when he will be home late and I can do grilled cheese, PB and J or Mac and cheese for dinner-no frustration of burning, not having the right spices, under cooking something or just making something that he simply doesnot like. I must say it does not make me feel too good when I have tried SO hard to make a good meal and he smothers it with the hottest hot sauce that we have. He does this regularly, whatever it is. So, in the end I succumb to failure in the cooking department, does it happen yes, but I am trying to tell myself that it doesn't matter anymore to protect my own feelings. Mike doesnot mean to come off in a way to hurt me. He grew up with perfection in the kitchen, in his own words "Marj, don't worry, what you are doing right now, is what I did when I was 8, you'll get the hang of it!" Yes, I think that that was suppose to make me feel better about the situation.
Oh, by the way he announced this morning (to me) that he wants Addi to start doing lunch for everyone (me and the girls). Sure she can make PB andJ sandwiches but I really don't know what he expects me to have her cook for lunch.
at first I was confused think that these were conversations that I had with Phil. I have to say that it was hard to accept that he was really like that. You hear all the time that a men like a good cooked meal and such. So I never believed that Phil was ok if I had chicken nuggets for dinner. I am to the point now that I am grateful that I don't have that expectation and I don't feel like I have failed as a wife/mom if I don't have an elaborate dinner EVERY night.
I completely get what your saying Betsy.
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