Life Lessons From a Piano Mom

I have scheduled a Christmas piano recital for my sixteen piano students-- four of them being my own little darlings.  I gave out the recital songs about 3 weeks ago and everyone is in the thick of learning fairly challenging songs.  The recital isn't until the beginning of December, but the first weeks of learning a song are just as important as the last couple weeks of polishing the song.
Back in August I got out all my Christmas music, plus a few new books, and took quite some time to find the right song for each student.  One that would definitely challenge them, but not overwhelm them.  Something they would have to work at, but that was in the realm of what they could do.  There were several factors that I took into consideration, but one thing mattered more than anything else.

HOW MUCH THEY PRACTICE.

Piano is on my mind a lot as I teach all these lessons each week and make sure that my own people get their practicing done each day.  And like any good sports fanatic, I think there are some lessons I've learned that can apply to many areas of life.  So here goes.

1.  True talent does exist, but it doesn't matter.
I have taught kids to whom reading the notes and moving their fingers correctly is a real challenge.  And I have taught kids who breeze through the first few weeks of lessons-- it is easy for them.  So I do not doubt that some are more naturally talented with music than others.  But whether it is easy or not, the kids who practice diligently (5 or 6 times a week) are the ones who improve.  Talent can only carry you for about 2 months, after that it's kind of a waste.

2.  Nothing is fun until you are good at it.  I don't mean you have to be an expert, but you have to achieve a certain proficiency before you can enjoy it.  If you quit while it is still really hard, you don't really know if you like it or not.

3.  Consistency is a gift.  The best thing for a child learning to play the piano is for a parent to provide such consistency in requiring practicing that it doesn't even occur to them to fight it.  They are happier in the long run and the short run if they know what is expected of them.  If getting out of practicing is not even an option they can more easily focus their attention on getting the job done rather than thinking of ways to get out of it. 

4.  Slow and steady wins the race.  Playing the piano is a skill that requires practice.  There is no way to learn to play the piano without doing it and doing it frequently.  When a student is beginning a new song I sometimes will assign them the whole song, but more often it will just be a smaller section.  And I tell them to GO SLOW.  "Take your time and make sure you learn it correctly.  When you have it all learned you can go as fast your little fingers can fly.  But until you can do it right, you go slow!" 

5.  What once was hard will become easy.  To me, this is the miracle of piano.  You start a new song that you cannot play.  But as you continue to work on it and train you fingers what to do, sooner than you would have expected, you can now play what days ago you could not.  Miraculous!  You don't have to perform that hard song perfectly the first time you see it.  Work at it and you'll be able to.   

6.  You're not fooling anybody.   I took piano lessons for many years from a numerous host of teachers.  I practiced 1, 2, or 3 times a week and was miserable at my lessons.  I now see that I wasn't the only one miserable at my lessons.  It's not much fun for the teacher when the student doesn't practice because it means you just do a practice session together rather than a lesson.  It's a wonder my parents stuck with piano lessons in the face of my slow progress.  I would show up and try my hardest at my lessons and hope that somehow my teacher would think that I really was giving it my all.  I never realized that I wasn't fooling anyone.  On the contrary, my teachers knew exactly what kind of practicing I was putting in.  

7.   We're all in this together.  The piano bench can be a hard and lonely place, especially if you are a little person.  I teach a few younger children (5-7 year-olds) and I truly enjoy working with the younger kids.  I believe there is value in starting the piano at a young age.  However, for it to be a positive, successful experience, the parents need to sit down with their little person every single time they practice.  Elinor is 8 and is just now beginning to practice by herself, sometimes. 

8.  True learning is a solitary affair.  For young children, company in practice is comforting and necessary.  That is wonderful, to a certain point.  But real learning requires a great deal of concentration and focus.  You may need a guide to point you in the right direction, but no one can walk the path for you. Group think is completely worthless on the piano bench.  You just need to buckle down and put in the time and the effort.     

9.  You reap what you sow.  It is impressive to see a youngster sit down and play a beautiful, flawless piece.  But that 1 to 5 minute performance took hours and hours and hours of practice.  You will get rewards based upon where you put your energies.  Don't expect to have what someone else  has if you don't want to do what they do.

10.  The thinking about it is almost always worse than just doing it.  More than once I have dragged one of my own kicking and screaming children to the piano bench with the command to "PRACTICE NOW!"  There have been tears and declarations of how mean I am and questions as to why I torment my own children.  And then, miraculously, not ten minutes later the child is calmly playing a beautiful piece of music and speaking aloud the words, "Sometimes I think I don't want to practice, but once I start doing it I actually enjoy it."

 These are my life lessons from a piano mom.  I suppose they are basically all variations on a theme of 'practice'.   It has been a great blessing for me to teach so many kids piano lessons.  I have learned so much from them and I enjoy each young person with so many personalities and different learning styles.  It is a thrill for me to try to figure out how their minds work and what motivates them.  Thank you to my students and their families!