It was absolutely everything I hoped it would be and then some. A week and a half ago I joined up with my seven sister-in-laws that are married to the seven Fox brothers in San Diego California for several days. This was the first time that such a grouping has vacationed together. There are two Fox sisters, but neither of them were able to come. Maybe next year-- and there WILL BE a next year:)-- there can be nine of us hanging together!
Here we are at Balboa Park. I am not going to make this a chronological travel log of exactly where we went and what we did, although I'm sure I'll cover those things a bit. Rather, I relished thinking how unusual and special it is that all of us women, none of whom are blood related, were choosing to spend money, arrange schedules, leave family responsibilities for a few days in order to foster these friendships.
I love each of my sister-in-laws. We are very similar in some ways and very different in others. A wide variety of personalities and talents. I loved getting to know them even better and want to share some of what I learned and some of why I admire each one of them so much.
I'll start with Mary, the youngest SIL, married to the youngest brother, Baden. They live in Las Vegas. She is soon to be the mother of 6-- if you can believe that-- and the most energetic pregnant person I've ever seen. Mary is one of my favorite people in the world to have a long deep conversation. I always seem to make connections in my mind and see things clearly when talking with Mary. She is so observant of people and their motivations. Psychology talks are fascinating because she has such good insights. She is so well read and has great tastes in books. She's a go-to for book recommendations. She knows who she is and although she might not agree, I think she is very comfortable in her own skin. And this morning walk and talk on the beach was a highlight of the trip for me.
Oh, and Mary is an insanely good cook. She has invited our family to dinner several times and it's always spectacular. I feel hungry just thinking about her cooking.
Katie is married to Phil and they live in Orem. She has five boys and one girl at the end. She was my travel buddy flying out to Cali. Katie is everything I'm not-- in the best way. She is an AMAZING seamstress. She can envision something and then create it. She is an artist and never ceases to amaze me. The other day she had on the cutest dress. Of course, she had made it herself! Seriously, do people still do that? Yes, they do! At least Katie can do that! If Katie has your family for the Christmas family gift exchange, you know it is going to be a showstopper. And it's not about the cost of the gifts. It's because she personalizes things and makes things you couldn't even buy if you wanted to. Katie knows her style-- she always wears the perfect clothing for her. She makes bold choices with her hair and clothes and
she works it! She is happy and has learned who she is and what makes her live well.
Katie brought her gel nail supplies and Korean facemasks so we could have a bit of pampering.
And quite a bit of laughter as well.
Amy-- in the middle with the blue hat is married to Jesse and they live in Spokane. She is a mother to six and except for my last two, we really had our babies together. Not so much in recent years, but in the past we vacationed together and passed through many of the stages of parenting together. Abe is still very close to Jesse and they talk often. Amy is dynamic and organized like nobody's business. She is the aunt that always remembers to send birthday cards and anniversary cards. She says it's not that hard because she has a system. Well, it would be hard to me! She is an incredibly thoughtful host and has welcomed our whole crew into her home multiple times over the course of our marriage. When our whale watching expedition was a bust in terms of actually seeing any whales and they gave us vouchers to come back another day, Amy collected all our vouchers for safe keeping because she would be sure to remember where she put them and bring them next year. She works in details. And not that it's the most important thing about her, but she never ages and likely never will. I love her too much to hate her for it:) She knows who she is and is great at setting healthy boundaries. She is dependable and reliable-- not always a combination that makes for a whole lot of fun, but look for "Party Amy" to come out:)
Tiffany, right in the middle with the blonde hair and black shirt, is married to Stuart, the brother just older than Abe and they live in Orem, although until recently they lived in the Portland area. She has nine children and is a
grandma! I know. How is that possible? She does not look old enough to possibly be a grandma! I mean granted, she is a young grandma, but still! Amazing! Tiffany is the reason this retreat happened. She organized it and it was her condo we stayed at. She really was the driving force in making this happen and I'm so grateful. Tiffany is a driving force to make lots of good things happen-- in her own family and in the extended Fox family. Over the years she has regularly and generously hosted gatherings. She has a thirst for knowledge and self-improvement. She has mastered healthy eating for her body. She is gracious and lovely and soft-spoken. She has a beautiful singing voice. Tiffany makes things so lovely for everyone around her. She passed through stages of parenting earlier than many of the younger SILs and has been humble in sharing her experiences to help us. In many ways she has been the leader of our group of in-laws and her dedication to family relationships has blessed us all.
Melissa (wearing glasses) is married to Russell, has four daughters, and they live in Kansas. Melissa is the sister-in-law I have spent the least amount of time with. I learned more about her and I enjoy her company immensely. Melissa is quick to laugh often and loud. She is quick to start dancing to music she loves. That's one of my favorite things about her. She is quick to talk comfortably to whomever she comes in contact with. She is beyond well-read. She works at a book store and working on a masters degree in library science (or whatever it is called to become a librarian). She gets pre-released copies of books to read and review on her blog. She is politically active and is fearless in raising her voice for what she believes in. She is a proponent of eating local and experiencing new foods. She regularly seeks out new experiences and at the same time celebrates all kinds of traditions with her family. Melissa is open-minded and has fostered the most wonderful relationships with her girls-- encouraging them and supporting them in being themselves. The more I know Melissa, the more I like her.
Lori (bottom right in the purple shirt) is married to Daniel and has five children. They live in Sandy and have been Abe and my favorite and most frequent date night pick since Abe and I were dating. Our first (extremely awkward) kiss was at their townhome in 1996. Lori arrived a day later than the rest of us and it sort of felt like the party couldn't quite get started until Lori arrived. SHE IS FUN! She is so complimentary and encouraging of everyone. Perhaps she wishes it weren't so, but I always feel like Lori takes any social discomfort upon herself so as to relieve anyone else from having to feel it. She is generous and funny and a favorite with my children who always feel like Aunt Lori loves them. I feel very safe sharing feelings and heartaches with Lori, knowing she will always think the best possible of me and give me the benefit of the doubt. She is empathetic and never trying to put herself above anyone. She has an extensive knowledge of 80's music that perhaps surpasses Abe's. Lori is one of my lifelong best friends.
Walks on the beach were my number one favorite thing about this trip.
We stayed in Oceanside. The paddle boarder is no one we know-- just happened to be in the shot:) Also, it was much chillier than I hoped it would have been. I wore double hoodies and a beanie all over, so I don't know why anyone would be dressed so scantily on the water. That is not a judgment of the girl, but what if she fell in?
Another really fun outing was to the San Diego Zoo. It wasn't very crowded at all and we stayed until closing time, so it got even sparser.
One of our fun conversations while meandering through the zoo was identifying our spirit animals. I claim the elephant as my own. That's not body image related-- rather I think of myself as strongly maternal and enjoying close relationships with my womenfolk. Generally peaceful, but powerful.
We did enjoy our daily outing adventures, although I think everyone would agree, the time spent sitting around the condo and just talking was a big part of what made the trip so fulfilling.
I was feeling pretty spoiled at this moment.
How gorgeous are they?
I am so thankful for the influence of these women in my life.
It was a joy to go on this trip. I needed the rest. I needed the space. I needed my own company. I was sad to see it come to an end and happy that it's already on the calendar for next year!
