Saturday, October 30, 2010

Teacher's Report for Halloween 2010

Here in the great and quite religious state of Utah, we get to do our Halloween festivities on Saturday instead of Sunday.  10 points for Utah!  In an effort to try to expose my home schooled children to the ways of the "real world", I shall give a report card, with grades, for the different subjects of our Halloween celebration this year.
In the subject of ANTICIPATION:  B
Over the past week the children calculated not only the number of days until Halloween, but the hours, minutes and seconds until the 6:00 trick-or-treating hour.  So I would have given a higher grade but their anticipation peaked too early.  They kind of crashed today.  I should have kept them busier instead of letting them watch Halloween movies all day.  The anticipation was too much for Faith today, who seemed very down in spirits.
SIBLING UNITY:  D
The girls went with the pioneer theme, but Clark as an Army guy and Cannon as Tigger severely lowered their average.
SPOUSAL UNITY:  F-
We failed this subject completely.  A pioneer man and a witch?  Was that really the best we could do?  Poor planning on my part.
THE CANDY HAUL:  A+
Oh yeah!  The kids brought it home this year.  Thank you to all my neighbors.
I'm not being sarcastic.  Really-- thank you.  I thoroughly enjoyed taxing my children for their best candy tonight.  I would just call out what treat I wanted and if they have it they HAVE to give it to me.
What?  You think that is mean?  Whatever.  Some parents don't even LET their kids go trick-or-treating.  My kids have it good.
  TRADITION:  A
This was a gimme.  We always have pizza for dinner on Halloween.
DRAMA:  A-
When I came downstairs in my witchy-attire Cannon was extremely upset.  I think I took the cackling too far and it wasn't very considerate of me.  In my defense, I really get into character when I'm in costume.  It took a lot of convincing that it really was mommy and it was just a "silly nose".  Clark said, "Mom is really horrifying."  Why thank you, my son.  That's what I was going for.
 ECONOMICS:  B+
The children come home and take inventory of their haul.  They divide out what are their most valuable assets. They trade their commodities to increase their net worth.  They have to pay dividends to the board of directors (mom and dad).  I'd say that's a pretty good economics lesson.
PHYSICAL EDUCATION: C
This is a two edged sword because on the one side, they do have to hoof it all over the neighborhood to collect all that candy.  For the older kids it was a good two hours of walking.
On the other side they do come home and gorge themselves on sugar.  I'm fairly certain that in health class the children are taught to eat a minimal amounts of sugar.  Oh well.  I let them have it on Halloween night.  Eat to your heart's and stomach's content.  Eat candy until you throw up for all I care.  (no one did this year!).  Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow Mom monitors all the Halloween candy.
RECESS:  no grade--it's recess  for heaven's sake
That's where you play with your friends at school, right?  Clark needed to get away from Mary, Laura, and Baby Carrie (I can't think why?).  So he found a couple of boys to tag along with.  I guess their pace was faster and at his age it's all about increasing the haul. He's been wanting to go trick-or-treating alone and I've been telling him, "When you're old enough to trick-or-treat alone, you're too old to go trick-or-treating."  I do believe we are fast approaching the end of his trick-or-treating run.  Sadness.
TEACHER'S PET:  A+++++++++++
He eventually got used to my nose and green skin.  As he came home he knocked on my door and I gave him more treats and asked him for a kiss.  He hesitated, but finally relented and smooched me.  I don't think I want him to get any bigger.  I LOVE HIM!
Please pardon my white tennis shoes.  I've completely fallen off the fashion train and have no hope of ever catching it again.  I don't even know what state or country the fashion train is in now.  I'll just go back to the horse and cart.
PUBLIC SPEAKING:  TO BE DETERMINED
That green, grease face-paint is strong stuff.  After washing my face 3 times with soap it still had a sickly, greenish/ gray tint to it.
Ummm. . . . . . I have to speak in church tomorrow morning.  What if I'm green?  What if I still look like an alien zombie?  I just don't think I'll be able to focus on giving my talk it the children are frightened of me.
PLAYS NICELY WITH OTHERS:  A
This is the first year the kids have done any trick-or-treating with friends.  We've always gone just with our family.  But when your best gal pals are also pioneers, it seemed the way to go.
Oh, and Zorro (fox in Spanish), was ADORABLE.  I love his mustache.

Teacher's note:
Halloween was joyful this year and the Fox children seem healthy and well adjusted.  They are a joy to have in my class and I hope you have 6 more just like them.

If you like this-- you might like this or this .  Happy Halloween!

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