A Lovely Young Woman

Can you spot the difference between picture #1...

And picture #2?

Did you catch it?  Maybe this will help...

Bethany finally turned 12 this week and the big present was going to get her ears pierced.
She's been looking forward to this for YEARS, but when it came right down to it she felt like this.

Of course she didn't have to do it, but she wanted to so she was a brave girl!

After the ear piercing we went to lunch and then shopping for make-up and some high-heeled sandals.  It was her dream come true and I enjoyed it very much as well.   

Today she went to Young Women's at church and her leaders came to visit her at home to welcome her and introduce Personal Progress to her.  I am so happy for her to get to participate in the wonderful programs the church offers and I am so grateful for the good people who give of their time to help teach and nurture my children.

Settle Down, Bessie

As I sit down to write, the sun is shining, the temperature outside is well above freezing and for the first time in a couple of months I am entertaining the real hope that spring is imminent.  This is a wonderful, glorious, miraculous thing because the winter has taken a serious toll on my emotional reserves.

You hear what I'm saying, right?

Nothing is really wrong.  In many ways things in my life are better than ever.  But I've been feeling down in spirits.  Not terribly anxious to get up in the morning and greet the day.  Worn down and unhappy.

But that's not the worst of it.  I've been unbearably grouchy towards my children.  Just imagine if you had to face THIS everyday.

This self-photo was taken moments before I attempted to take the children on a "fun" Saturday outing a couple of weeks ago.  I will tell you, I believe I had actual fire coursing through my veins.  I felt quite out of sorts and I was yelling at every little person who had the misfortune to share the same airspace with me.  I have been a frightening mother as of late.

In short, I haven't been enjoying the time I have with my children.  This makes me very sad and I've been thinking a lot about why that is.  Here's what I've come up with.  Besides the horrible winter weather, and you better believe I AM placing a great deal of the blame on winter, I fear I have put unreasonable expectations on my children and myself.

I confess that I want my children to excel.  I want them to do well.  We home school so perhaps I feel I've got a point to prove.  I hope it's not about me wanting them to be better than other people, but for sure, I want them to reach their potential and Be All They Can Be(!) without actually having to join the Army.  I know I'm nowhere near the smartest or most talented person I know, but I have this crazy little idea that if I work hard enough I can make up the difference.  I apply this same reasoning to my children.  So I push us all.  Hard.  I'm not sure they can do enough to make me think they are doing enough.  I hate the phrase, "Just do your best."  What does that mean?  Like we read in C.S. Lewis's The Horse and His Boy, are you really doing what you can do, or are you just doing what you think you can do.
There is a difference.

I have wonderfully dear friends who I admire so much.  Some keep immaculate homes and cars.  Another is so organized and structured.  I have a sister-in-law who thoughtfully sends birthday and anniversary cards to every member of the gigantic Fox family.  Another is so gentle and soft spoken.  One is so aware of the needs around her and constantly giving of her time to help out.  Another is so creative and daring.  Another  who can build something from nothing and bless so many others. You get the idea.

 I am surrounded by amazing, talented, gifted people.  I love them all! I'm not complaining and I'm not comparing myself to them in a woe-me attitude.  I know I have my own gifts and talents.  It's more that I see these fabulous qualities, and once again, I believe that through hard work I too can develop them as well.  I understand that some people may see this differently, but I think this is a pretty healthy attitude.  I believe that I can become what I want to become, through my choices and efforts.  What is not healthy is feeling that I need to be all those things right now.  It is not healthy to be unhappy because no matter what I or my children do, it is not enough.  It is not healthy to make myself and those I love miserable in a quest for excellence.  It is not healthy to run faster than I am able.

And that is precisely what I've been doing.  I have to change.  I have to settle down.  I need to remember that people, my own children included, are more important that problems.  I've got to settle down and love my children.

This week I called an unofficial spring break so we can get ready for Faith's birthday party on Saturday, enjoy the nicer weather, do some practice tests online for end of year testing, and do a little spring cleaning.  But mostly, we're having spring break so I can settle down and enjoy being with my children. 

End note:  And now for the end note that really should have been the main point of this post.  15 minutes after posting this and in an answer to my prayer, I came upon this quote by Elder Bednar in this month's Ensign regarding the enabling power of the Atonement.  "...We mistakenly believe we must make the journey from good to better and become a saint all by ourselves through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline, and with our obviously limited capacities".

I mean really, who would ever mistakenly believe that we could develop all those great characteristics just through our own hard work?  Sheeh! Some people just don't get it :) 

This and That

It's too early for a case of serious spring fever, but the symptoms are fast approaching.  Elinor made herself a bird next out of mud and grass.

George and Cannon enjoyed feeding the bunny carrots and the bunny enjoyed getting out of his cage in the garage and running free around the backyard. 

Bethany turns 12 later this week but we celebrated her family party today by having the Johansens over for dinner and games.  Two birthday cakes was overkill but I must have worries that if there wasn't enough cake for everyone, I might not get a piece.  Heaven forbid I not get my fair share of cake!

We (as in I) made Cafe Rio salads for dinner.  They were quite tasty and I certainly enjoyed my fair share of them!

Bethany is excited to test out her little doughnut maker Rachel and Kara gave her for her birthday.  Today was Bethany's last Sunday in Primary.  She will head to Young Women's next week.  She is is so excited and has looked forward to turning 12 for so long that she can hardly believe it's finally here.

So cute and yet slightly disturbing on another level.  To say that Cannon loves Clark is an understatement, but Clark is no less enamored by his charming little brother.  Cannon is granted privileges from Clark that no one else would dare to even request from Clark. I think that the day Clark leaves on his mission might be a sad day for a nine year old Cannon.

Elinor and Faith demonstrated this evening why no parent should feel badly if they can't afford to buy there kiddos the latest and greatest toys.  I was slicing avocados this afternoon and the girls begged and pleaded for the avocado pits.
Uh, okay, sure, you can haven them. (Why the heck to you want avocado pits?)
 Faith drew a face on her's and called it her "avocado baby".
Elinor made her's into pendant for a necklace.
Why do we have any toys at all?

Celebrating the End of February

Tomorrow is MARCH 1!!!!! Happy day!  We made it through February!!!!

This is George in his doggy costume.  He wears it pretty much everyday.  He whimpers like a little puppy and wants everyone to hold him. 

I bought this costume on clearance shortly after Halloween when Clark was one year old.  Every single child in our family has worn and loved it.  It is size 18 months but has been worn by all well into the fourth year of life.

The doggy costume has brought a lot of joy to our family.

Clark recently won 2nd place in the Student Congress at a speech and debate tournament.  For the record he didn't need to win an award to prove to me that he could argue well.  He is an eldest child after all.   I think that goes with the territory.
Following the tournament Clark and his friends had their monthly D&D club at our house. Clark's friend London (pictured above) lives about a half hour away and because roads were icy he ended up staying the night and going to church with us.  Since our family does not do sleepovers (except for very rare exceptions) this was a real treat for Clark and quite the novelty for the whole family.
I gave London his very own new toothbrush (I know, it was so hospitable of me).  But I warned him he must NOT leave his toothbrush unattended in the bathroom between the evening brush and the morning brush.  I explained that I could not guarantee that no one else would use it.  There are members of this family (who shall remain nameless) who do not respect toothbrush ownership so it would be best if he slept with his new toothbrush under his pillow. 

In London's family the kids have their own rooms and bathrooms, so this may have seemed an unnecessary precaution but he followed my advice and I felt like we were pretty good hosts.  He had a mattress on the floor of the family room and a clean toothbrush.  That's about as good as anybody in this house has it.

Faith went to a rock star birthday party yesterday and she has another birthday party for another friend tomorrow.  And she has a birthday party for herself coming up.  Life is good when you're almost 7 and you have masses of little girlfriends.
Bethany is the resident fashion advisor and she helped Fay-Fay get ready for the party.  She also helped her get ready for her gymnastics pictures today.  She helped Elinor with a make-over for her 10th birthday celebration the other day. 
What would I do without my Bethany? She may not want to do her math these days, but she is so helpful with the little kids.

Aren't they beautiful?  These are the girls in Bethany's Primary class that will be turning 12 very soon and are anxious to join Young Women's at church.  They had New Beginnings this week where they get their first introduction to all the good things that await them in YW.
  
I went to my neighborhood book club this evening and even though I talked too much and ate too much chocolate/peanut butter fondue, it was so enjoyable.  I love my book club friends and feel such acceptance and friendship there.

 

And in my last bit of happy news I bought myself new red running shoes yesterday.  I feel faster just thinking about them.  I haven't run much since the marathon at the end of September because 1) I felt like Forest Gump-- I was tired of running and so I stopped and 2) It's been so cold and snowy for months and
3) We've had such dirty air for much of this whole winter.  

I went for a run yesterday morning and it was glorious and I realized I have really missed it. It must have released some serious endorphins into my system because I felt like I was looking through rose-colored glasses all day yesterday.  I am ready to get back to running.  Never say never, but I'm not interested in doing another full marathon right now, if ever.  The training takes a lot of time and the mental energy needed might be more than I can spare right now.  But maybe a Half is in the near future?  We'll see.

Elinor is 10!

She has made it to the double digits!!! Elinor recently celebrated her 10th birthday with a family party.  I love a good big party as much, if not more than anyone, but every other year is just a family party.

And it's simple and calm and good happy feelings abound.

Our adventuresome gal wanted a bow and arrow.  Abe went all out and got her a compound bow-- quite the lethal weapon.  To be honest she can barely pull the string back. We may need to reconsider.  Especially since there is a chunk shot out of the fence already.

She also wanted overalls for her birthday.  She has wanted overalls for about three years but this is the first year she remembered she wanted them in time for her birthday.  I think they suit her so well and she looks darling.

The sign was Faith's birthday present to Elinor and Bethany gave her the pink notebook she's holding in her other hand.

After our little home party we went to play at Classic Fun Center.

The kids all had a great time and after being cooped up all Winter it was wonderful to let the kids run wild.  

 And they weren't the only ones who enjoyed running wild.  I know it's not exactly high brow, but I like bouncy slides.   I don't want to do it everyday and I did have a headache when it was all over, but I think it's fun once or twice a year. 

I just like George's facial expression here.  I realize I may not like it when he is 16 and gets his first drivers license, but it's adorable at two and a half.

This picture is for Naomi in London.  You're welcome.

Abe is a really nice daddy.  He paid $5 so Elinor could go into the Money Box for 1 minute to gather up "funny money" and get a prize.  The prize wasn't terribly impressive and in hind sight, we should have just offered Elinor five bucks, but at least now she has experienced the thrill of catching money in the wind.

Happy 10th birthday, Elinor!  A lot of girls your age want nail polish for their birthday.  I am so glad you wanted overalls and a bow and arrow.  You are one of a kind and we love you so much!

The Little Ones

Cannon was so happy to get his first real school books in the mail this past week.  He anxiously sat down and got right to work.  He liked the coloring and tracing but he was probably happiest that he had mom all to himself for a little while to do his school.  I was rather impressed with his coloring and he was holding his pencil the right way, which bodes well for his future handwriting.

Cannon will turn 5 this May.  WOW!  He is really changing from a little kid to a bigger kid right before my eyes.  I must admit that I am a little sad to see him getting bigger just because he has been such a joy that I'm not in any kind of hurry to have him grown up.  Not that I don't think he'll remain a joy, but he won't be quite so little and snuggly.

And now for my absolute favorite picture of the year.  George picked out his outfit and its so styling.  It's kind of Strawberry Shortcake meets Fred from Scooby-Doo.  The orange ascot is actually a scarf tied into a superhero cape.  It was snowing outside and I was busy with my visiting teacher so he took it upon himself to dress himself for the great outdoors.  What you can't see is that he's got no underwear on under his favorite bird shirt.  He took care to dress for extreme weather but he missed a rather important area!

Work it, George!

Here's a funny little thing about George these days.  He is very reliably potty trained and somehow he has come to call going poo-poo going "T-Rex".  When he has a T-Rex we all cheer for him and he growls.  He also is really into acting like a dog.  Lots of panting and pawing at us.  He is great fun!

Faith is continuing with her beginning robotics class.  She built this flying bird with her Lego WeDo kit.  Faith has a wonderfully fun group of girlfriends in the ward and neighborhood.  A couple of the moms have set up monthly girls' nights for them this year and last night was the first one.  What fun Faith had! In the middle of the snowstorm today I went to sign Elinor and Faith up for softball for the spring.  It was a nice reminder that Winter is going to pass and Spring will come.  Unfortunately Elinor and Faith won't be able to play on the same team this year, like last year so we'll have 2 different teams of practice and games to work into our family schedule.  How exciting!

All the World's a Stage

All the world's a stage,
And Clark and Bethany merely players.

Clark and Bethany are a part of a fantastic Shakespeare class taught by a great friend of mine.  They study a Shakespeare play and learn about acting and they put on a show.  This year it was As You Like It.  They rent out a small local theater and performed Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night and a Saturday matinee as well.

Clark played the part of Oliver, Orlando's evil, turned good, older brother and he did great- just as we knew he would.

Bethany played Duke Frederick (in the black hat), a small but very evil part.  She was VICIOUS!!  She was quite the revelation up there on that stage.  She had such a case of nerves on Thursday and I told her not to worry.  She just had to make it through this weekend and if she didn't like being on stage she would never have to be in another play again.  Then, lo and behold, little Bethany walked out on stage with a commanding presence, with fire in her eyes and a loud, forceful voice.  She articulated her words so clearly, and quite surprised several other parents who know her quite well.  What a surprise!

When she wasn't being the evil duke she was a charming forester.

I feel so grateful for the opportunities my kids have had to be involved in some wonderful groups of friends doing great things.  Perhaps my real talent lies in being able to recognize truly superb people  and leeching myself and my children on to them so we can come along and enjoy the benefits of their talents!  Does that make me a parasite?  I hope not, but I am so thankful for the experiences for my children.  I could not provide this kind of activity on my own.

Some of these guys were in the play and some were there to support Clark.  Truthfully, some thought it was hysterical that Clark "had" to hold hands with a girl in the play. 

They'll see the light sooner or later.

Like so many of his Fox cousins, Clark has contracted the acting bug and is on the lookout for his next play.  He's thinking he'd better give up football so he has more time for theater.  That works for me. 

Regency Romance Ball 2013

Are you ready?

Prepare yourself.

Here it is.....

Announcing Lord Abraham and Lady Elizabeth of River-Town!

Oh, marvelous, wonderful Regency Romance Ball!  It was just so fun!  Here are the pictures.

This was our main group for the dinner and dancing.  Dinner was turkey and mashed potatoes and it was delicious.  But the dessert was a bread pudding and it was not so good.  But no matter.  It did not detract from the magic of the evening.

Last year Abe rented his costume and it helped win him the "Mr. Darcy" contest.  So he rented the exact same costume this year and he nearly won again.  There were about 170 people at the ball and he was one of the top 6 finalists.  He is so dashing!
They also have a "Miss Emma Woodhouse" contest for the young ladies.  In years past my white nightgown has never taken me far in the competition.  But this year my gold gown earned me a place amongst the five finalists!  ME!  Can you believe it???
This is all thanks to Barbara Sherman who took pity on me and my nightgown and offered to help me make a dress.  I told her that if by "help" she meant she would make me a dress, then YES, I'd love it!  She came through big time and I loved, loved, loved my dress!

Look at all the beautiful dresses!!!  Oh, heavenly!
The dancing was so much fun.  I really would like for this style of dancing to make a serious comeback.  It is so enjoyable because everyone can do it and they are set dances so you don't feel like an idiot hopping and bopping about not knowing quite what to do.  The ladies are ladylike and the gentlemen are... well, gentlemen.

Andrea has become quite the vintage dancing expert and has taught Clark and many other youth all these dances that we were learning.  I'm working on arranging to have her come to teach our neighborhood book club/ward/friends-- anyone who wants to have a most enjoyable evening learning several of these dances.  Vintage dancing is wholesome recreation at it's finest!  But don't worry, you won't have to dress up to come dance.

It's a blurry picture, but I like it anyway.  My favorite dance is a reel called Sir Roger de Coverley.   It gets going so fast and everyone has a permanent smile on their face and we're laughing and there were even a few people falling to the ground! (but not hurt).  Good times.

More dancing pictures because they make me happy.

I'm just going to say it.
We are stunning.

And now I'm going to say something else.
I am a very, very lucky lady.  I am so happy Abe can go and enjoy a night like this almost as much as me.  He is a grand dancing partner and an even better life partner.

Perhaps a ball just once a year is not enough.

But I musn't be greedy.  I must just enjoy the time we have with good friends and great fun.

And I should mention that my hair was so much easier to do this year than last!  And as a bonus, when I did the wild Sir Roger de Coverely reel this year, I didn't litter the floor with hairpins flying out of my hair.

Abe Note:  Here is one more AWESOME picture of our group with a fictional background.