According To the Plan

One of my favorite things in the whole world is walking.  This is not something new--I've talked about my love of walking (especially morning walking) before.  I love starting the day with fresh air and exercise.  I love experiencing the change of light and the seasons.  I love walking and talking with my friend as we process the stages of life we're in.  And I also love walking by myself.  Sometimes I listen to music.  More often I listen to a podcast or audiobook.  And these days, quite often, I don't listen to anything, except the sound of my own thoughts and the thoughts that come to me as I "pray walk".  

I have a loud and busy house and I struggle to find a quiet place to pour out my heart to God.  In the scriptures, it says to pray in your closets in secret, but my closets are messy and not conducive to meaningful, peaceful prayer.  So I pray while I walk.  I just talk to my Heavenly Father about whatever I'm thinking about, whatever I'm worried about, whatever I'm thankful about, whatever I hope will be, whatever I'm deliriously happy about, whatever I'm hurting about.  This kind of prayer has changed my life. 

I recently listened to a Brooke Snow podcast episode called "The Fruits of Happiness".  For whatever it's worth, I highly recommend her podcast.  In this particular episode, she discussed how we all have lots of thoughts.  Almost none of them are 100% true and accurate.  Life happens and the adversary is quick to offer us his interpretations (thoughts)  of those events.  We don't even have to ask him.  He'll just plant the seed of blaming other people and doubting our own worth.   

When Nephi wanted an accurate understanding of his father's dream, he didn't settle for Satan's interpretation.  He asked God what it meant.  

On a recent morning walk, I was feeling weighed down with heartache.  People I loved were hurting.  I was hurting.  I was frustrated on several fronts and mostly I was tired of feeling this way.  So as I pray walked I asked God what he thought of the heartache I was facing.  What did he want me to think about what was happening?  What does he think about what's been happening?  How could I change my thoughts?  As I continued walking and pondering, Heavenly Father answered my prayers.  I am sharing it here because, while I don't know that this is the best place to record my sacred experiences, this blog is the place where I write and where I am most likely to actually record it.  And as my dear friend says, and I wholeheartedly agree-- done is better than perfect.  

As I prayed, I tried on different thoughts to see how they felt.  I've heard the idea that when facing a hard challenge or life trial, it can be helpful to think "It's supposed to be this way".  That thought hasn't rung true to me.  I haven't been able to wrap my mind around it.  Perhaps that's because it smacks of my least favorite word-- SHOULD.  As if it should be this way.  I just don't like it.  

But that thought led me to the thought--what if "It's all going according to THE plan?"  By THE plan, I don't mean detailed, individual plans that God has somehow predetermined will be the best path through life for each of us.  That doesn't ring true to me.  Rather, THE plan is THE PLAN OF HAPPINESS.  The Plan of Salvation

It's all going according to THE plan.  We are all having experiences and we are all learning to choose the good from the evil.  

I said these words to myself over and over and over, and I knew Heavenly Father had answered my prayer.  He had shared his interpretation with me.  Immediately, I smiled as I walked and my heart felt so light.  It has continued to feel lighter than it has in months.  I understand that even as my loved ones have trials, I can be at peace that their experiences will help them learn to choose good from evil.  Just as mine will help me.  It doesn't matter how long it takes.  It doesn't matter the particulars of the path, so long as it moves us along in learning to choose the good from the evil.  It is all going according to the plan.  It is according to the plan that we learn from our experiences.  It is according to the plan that we feel really bad sometimes.  It's according to the plan that we struggle as we grow.  It's according to the plan that we have sickness and sadness.  It doesn't mean something has gone wrong.  It's all going according to the plan.  We are all having experiences and we are all learning to choose from evil.  Because of Christ, as we choose good, we can repent of our wrongs and become more like God.  THE plan is so good. 

I knew this on some level.  Doctrinally, these are not new ideas to me.  But somehow the Holy Ghost communicated this truth to my spirit in a way and in language that I totally understood.  It CHANGED me and that is a miracle I want to remember.